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A Guy's Moleskine Notebook

Thoughts and reflections on works of fiction and literature. Pondering of life through pictures and words. Babbling about gay rights. Travelogues and anecdotes.

  • [1] Annie Proulx: Brokeback Mountain
  • [2] Arthur Golden: Memoirs of a Geisha
  • [3] Yu Hua: To Live
  • [4] Alan Hollinghurst: The Line of Beauty
  • [5] Colm Toibin: The Master
  • [6] Carlos Ruiz Zafon: The Shadow of the Wind
  • [7] William James: The Varieties of Religious Experience
  • [8] Charles Higham: The Civilization of Angkor
  • [9] Graham Greene: A Burnt-Out Case
  • [10] Dai Sijie: Mr. Muo's Travelling Couch
  • [11] Alan Hollinghurst: The Swimming-Pool Library
  • [12] Mikhail Bulgakov: The Master and Margarita
  • [13] Colm Toibin: The Blackwater Lightship
  • [14] Alan Hollinghurst: The Folding Star
  • [15] Ross King: Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling
  • [16] Fyodor Dostoevsky: The Brothers Karamazov
  • [17] Jonathan Franzen: The Corrections
  • [18] Colm Toibin: The Story of the Night
  • [19] John Banville: Shroud
  • [20] Leo Tolstoy: Resurrection
  • [21] Peter Hessler: River Town, Two Years on the Yangtze
  • [22] Ian McEwan: The Atonement
  • [24] Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Love in the Time of Cholera
  • [25] Ignacio Padilla: Shadow without a Name
  • [26] Umberto Eco: The Name of the Rose
  • [27] Richard Russo: Straight Man
  • [28] Fyodor Dostoevsky: Notes from Underground
  • [29] Alan Hollinghurst: The Spell
  • [30] Hermann Broch: The Death of Virgil
  • [31] James Baldwin: Giovanni's Room
  • [32] Ken Kesey: One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
  • [33] Xingjian Gao: One Man's Bible
  • [34] C. Jay Cox: Latter Days
  • [35] Harper Lee: To Kill A Mockingbird
  • [36] William Shakespeare: The Taming of the Shrew
  • [37] Daniel A. Helminiak: What The Bible Really Says about Homosexuality
  • [38] James Baldwin: Tell Me How Long the Train's Been Gone
  • [39] Kenji Yoshino: Covering - The Hidden Assault of Civil Rights
  • [40] Italo Calvino: If, On a Winter's Night A Traveler
  • [41] Arthur Phillips: The Egyptologist
  • [42] George Orwell: 1984
  • [43] Michael Warner: The Trouble with Normal: Sex, Politics, and Ethics of Queer Life
  • [44] Andrew Sullivan: Virtually Normal
  • [45] Henry James: The Wings of the Dove
  • [46] Jose Saramago: Blindness
  • [47] Umberto Eco: The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana
  • [48] Dan Brown: Da Vinci Code
  • [49] Kazuo Ishiguro: Never Let Me Go
  • [50] Ken Follett: The Pillars of Earth
  • [51] Leo Tolstoy: War and Peace
  • [52] Michael Thomas Ford: Alec Baldwin Doesn't Like Me
  • [53] Jonathan Franzen: How To Be Alone
  • [54] Jonathan Lethem: The Fortress of Solitude
  • [55] Matthew Pearl: The Dante Club
  • [56] Zadie Smith: White Teeth
  • [57] Fyodor Dostoevsky: The Double
  • [58] Jose Saramago: The Double
  • [59] Andrew Holleran: Dancer from the Dance
  • [60] Heinrich von Kleist: The Marquise of O & Other Stories
  • [61] Andrew Holleran: In September, the Light Changes
  • [62] Tom Perrotta: Little Children
  • January 23, 2006

     

    Brokeback Mountain vs. 勞斯.萊斯 (Lous and Lois)

    A week after viewing of Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain, and after 5 readings of the novel on which the screenplay based, I'm still overwhelmed with a deluge of emotion. Brokeback Mountain is the story of two ranch hands who emark on a life-long discreet affair that is never resolved. The film further solidifies its status as the front-runner of this year's Oscar glory as the Producers Guild of America names it best picture of the year. While the box office continues to match its hype, the movie more subtly registers in my mind. This line keeps thumping on my mind:

    "and I'll say it just one time. Tell you what, we could a had a good life together, a fuckin real good life. You wouldn't do it, Ennis, so what we got now is Brokeback Mountain. ... I wish I knew how to quit you."

    I wish I knew how to quit you. What an overwhelming, heartbreaking line. This once-in-a-lifetime relationship has never been resolved. Talk about coincidence, around the same time Brokeback Mountain made its debut, a Cantopop song bearing the same idea popped out and since then it kept playing in my head - 勞斯.萊斯 (Lous and Lois)

    It's about two guys sharing a closeted relationship. The lyrics pierce through my heart:

    勞斯和萊斯 都是花樣男子 Lous and Lois are both men of full bloom
    勞斯 原是個校隊的優秀種子 Lous was once the school team's seed
    萊斯 只喜愛讀書 Lois had his nose buried in the books
    偏偏他倆 早見晚見 Fate afforded their company day and night
    每日著住同樣 純白襯衣 in matching white t-shirts
    羅曼史 開場於 相鄰的桌椅 Romance began at the study table
    不過二人 不敢放肆 but they contrived to keep it at bay

    能成為密友 大概總帶著愛 Love must have cultivated a close friendship
    但做對好兄弟 又如此相愛 旁人會說不該 that was no more tolerable than brotherly love
    忘形時搭膊 自有一面退開 Though the lightest physical touch was met with a wince
    暗裡很享受 卻怕講出來 the pleasure was unspeakably mutual
    兩眼即使 移開轉開 The eyes might have avoided contact
    心裡面也知 這是愛 but deep down inside they both knew it was love

    男子和男子 怎能親密如此 How can a man be so intimate with another man
    勞斯 難面對 卻跟她勾過手指 Lous couldn't help holding hands despite his fear
    萊斯 偏偏那樣痴 and Lois never wished to quit him
    終於一次 她撲過去 Finally he lunged forward to hold him
    四目對望然後 除下襯衣 and after a gaze he took off his shirt
    迷惑中 的勞斯 此時先至知 It finally dawned on the confusing Lous that
    一向沒當這好手足女子 his best friend loves him more than like a brother.

    能成為密友 大概總帶著愛Love must have cultivated a close friendship
    但做對好兄弟 又如此相愛 旁人會說不該that was no more tolerable than brotherly love
    純情何事會 讓這悲劇揭開 How could something innocent lead to such a tragedy
    他真的很意外 想起相識以來 but as he recalled the time they had spent together
    一起溫書逛街聽歌看海 studying, hang out, and looking at the ocean, he finally knew.

    日日也親暱如情侶 底牌終揭開 Truth about their love would finally unravel

    為何還害怕 若覺得這樣愛 But why should they fear if it's true love
    尚在計算他又是誰 可否愛 and does it really matter if the true love is a man?
    旁人哪個 接受這種愛 It does matter if nobody would accept this relationship
    明明絕配 犯眾憎 便放開 A true match that is met with hatred from worldly eyes
    永遠的忍耐 永遠不出來 will always be in the closet, oppressed
    世界將依然 不變改 And as time goes by
    只會讓更多罪名埋沒愛 This forbidden love will only bear the guilt
    可要像梁祝 那樣愛 and be proven real by death.

    It brings tears to my eyes and sends a chill down my spine every time I hear the song, which has duly compensated the story between Ennis del Mar and Oliver Twist in Brokeback Mountain. The song gives new meaning to relationship.

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