A Potpourri of Heartbreaking Films and Stories
Over dinner with Bill at the landmark Thailand Restaurant that perches over the Castro, our conversation inevitably nudged to the direction of the Oscar result. Brokeback Mountain, with all the pre-Oscar nominations and hype, took only Best Director and Best Original Film Score. We speculated political reason, unfortunately, played a remarkable role in influencing the result. Anyway, I was not as disappointed as the dramatic San Francisco Oscar Party bunch at Concourse. Some shed tears as Crash won Best Picture and pulled off a major Academy Awards upset. Our proxy disheartening mood over Brokeback Mountain quickly mollified as we solaced ourselves that in spite of the Oscar defeat Anne Proulx had penned a very touching, heartbreaking story portrait-painting the intimate relationship between two gay cowboys.
Then I told Bill that Brokeback Mountain reminds me of a Hong Kong film from 2001 called Lanyu, directed by Stanley Kwan. The much-discussed film between two gay men in Beijing, played by Hu Jun and Liu Yeh, bears some striking resemblance to Brokeback Mountain. Handong, head of a lucrative trading company and Lan Yu, a country boy who goes to college in Beijing meet often, and the boy is soon very secure in his love for the man. But the lustful Handong insists that he wants a play-mate, not a lifelong companion, and warns Lan Yu that they will eventually break up.
"When people get to know each other too well," he says, "inevitably they part." Meanwhile he showers expensive gifts to Lan Yu, expecting to deflect the boy's love by turning it into gratitude or dependency. Lan Yu is indomitable until the night he arrives at Handong's apartment and finds his lover in the process of seducing a college athlete. Reminiscent of The Wedding Banquet, Handong conceals his love for men with the seal of a vow to a woman whom he meets at work. But neither he nor Lanyu can forget about one another...
I admire Lanyu's love for Handong during a time when people often understate the meaning of the word love. What does one mean when he says he loves someone? But Lanyu has been faithful and loyal to this love, which has been proven real and indefatigable through time and devotion. In the novel The Spell, which I have recently read, what Alan Hollinghurst writes one of his characters so hits home with Lanyu:
"...he's only had one real affair in his life, with Justin, who I would have thought was totally inappropriate. Anyway it was a big deal for two years, until, of course, Justin broke his heart. The first night he told me he hadn't touched another man for a year. Then he talked and talked all next day. He was still very mellow from the night before. He's not jaded. I sound like I'm a hundred years old but it was so sweet to be out with someone who finds everything new and amazing. He's quite serious too. He kept analysing everything he felt."
Who doesn't want to find someone like Lanyu?
Then I told Bill that Brokeback Mountain reminds me of a Hong Kong film from 2001 called Lanyu, directed by Stanley Kwan. The much-discussed film between two gay men in Beijing, played by Hu Jun and Liu Yeh, bears some striking resemblance to Brokeback Mountain. Handong, head of a lucrative trading company and Lan Yu, a country boy who goes to college in Beijing meet often, and the boy is soon very secure in his love for the man. But the lustful Handong insists that he wants a play-mate, not a lifelong companion, and warns Lan Yu that they will eventually break up. "When people get to know each other too well," he says, "inevitably they part." Meanwhile he showers expensive gifts to Lan Yu, expecting to deflect the boy's love by turning it into gratitude or dependency. Lan Yu is indomitable until the night he arrives at Handong's apartment and finds his lover in the process of seducing a college athlete. Reminiscent of The Wedding Banquet, Handong conceals his love for men with the seal of a vow to a woman whom he meets at work. But neither he nor Lanyu can forget about one another...
I admire Lanyu's love for Handong during a time when people often understate the meaning of the word love. What does one mean when he says he loves someone? But Lanyu has been faithful and loyal to this love, which has been proven real and indefatigable through time and devotion. In the novel The Spell, which I have recently read, what Alan Hollinghurst writes one of his characters so hits home with Lanyu:
"...he's only had one real affair in his life, with Justin, who I would have thought was totally inappropriate. Anyway it was a big deal for two years, until, of course, Justin broke his heart. The first night he told me he hadn't touched another man for a year. Then he talked and talked all next day. He was still very mellow from the night before. He's not jaded. I sound like I'm a hundred years old but it was so sweet to be out with someone who finds everything new and amazing. He's quite serious too. He kept analysing everything he felt."
Who doesn't want to find someone like Lanyu?
1 Comments:
I've noticed that my concept of love changes and evolves with each year. When I was younger, I felt that if you were unfaithful to your partner, it meant that you did not love them. However, as I have grown older, and noticed that what motivates people in general to have sex outside their primary relationship often has little to do with the love they have for another, but unfinished business inside themselves, I now believe that you can love your partner and still have sex with someone else.
For the record, my partner and I have been monogamymous, but if he came to me and stated that he wanted to experience sex with anotherman--I'm his first--I would listen and we would discuss it. I can't guarantee that I would approve, but I think the fact that I'm willing to discuss the possibility is a great sign of growth on my part.
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