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A Guy's Moleskine Notebook

Thoughts and reflections on works of fiction and literature. Pondering of life through pictures and words. Babbling about gay rights. Travelogues and anecdotes.

  • [1] Annie Proulx: Brokeback Mountain
  • [2] Arthur Golden: Memoirs of a Geisha
  • [3] Yu Hua: To Live
  • [4] Alan Hollinghurst: The Line of Beauty
  • [5] Colm Toibin: The Master
  • [6] Carlos Ruiz Zafon: The Shadow of the Wind
  • [7] William James: The Varieties of Religious Experience
  • [8] Charles Higham: The Civilization of Angkor
  • [9] Graham Greene: A Burnt-Out Case
  • [10] Dai Sijie: Mr. Muo's Travelling Couch
  • [11] Alan Hollinghurst: The Swimming-Pool Library
  • [12] Mikhail Bulgakov: The Master and Margarita
  • [13] Colm Toibin: The Blackwater Lightship
  • [14] Alan Hollinghurst: The Folding Star
  • [15] Ross King: Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling
  • [16] Fyodor Dostoevsky: The Brothers Karamazov
  • [17] Jonathan Franzen: The Corrections
  • [18] Colm Toibin: The Story of the Night
  • [19] John Banville: Shroud
  • [20] Leo Tolstoy: Resurrection
  • [21] Peter Hessler: River Town, Two Years on the Yangtze
  • [22] Ian McEwan: The Atonement
  • [24] Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Love in the Time of Cholera
  • [25] Ignacio Padilla: Shadow without a Name
  • [26] Umberto Eco: The Name of the Rose
  • [27] Richard Russo: Straight Man
  • [28] Fyodor Dostoevsky: Notes from Underground
  • [29] Alan Hollinghurst: The Spell
  • [30] Hermann Broch: The Death of Virgil
  • [31] James Baldwin: Giovanni's Room
  • [32] Ken Kesey: One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
  • [33] Xingjian Gao: One Man's Bible
  • [34] C. Jay Cox: Latter Days
  • [35] Harper Lee: To Kill A Mockingbird
  • [36] William Shakespeare: The Taming of the Shrew
  • [37] Daniel A. Helminiak: What The Bible Really Says about Homosexuality
  • [38] James Baldwin: Tell Me How Long the Train's Been Gone
  • [39] Kenji Yoshino: Covering - The Hidden Assault of Civil Rights
  • [40] Italo Calvino: If, On a Winter's Night A Traveler
  • [41] Arthur Phillips: The Egyptologist
  • [42] George Orwell: 1984
  • [43] Michael Warner: The Trouble with Normal: Sex, Politics, and Ethics of Queer Life
  • [44] Andrew Sullivan: Virtually Normal
  • [45] Henry James: The Wings of the Dove
  • [46] Jose Saramago: Blindness
  • [47] Umberto Eco: The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana
  • [48] Dan Brown: Da Vinci Code
  • [49] Kazuo Ishiguro: Never Let Me Go
  • [50] Ken Follett: The Pillars of Earth
  • [51] Leo Tolstoy: War and Peace
  • [52] Michael Thomas Ford: Alec Baldwin Doesn't Like Me
  • [53] Jonathan Franzen: How To Be Alone
  • [54] Jonathan Lethem: The Fortress of Solitude
  • [55] Matthew Pearl: The Dante Club
  • [56] Zadie Smith: White Teeth
  • [57] Fyodor Dostoevsky: The Double
  • [58] Jose Saramago: The Double
  • [59] Andrew Holleran: Dancer from the Dance
  • [60] Heinrich von Kleist: The Marquise of O & Other Stories
  • [61] Andrew Holleran: In September, the Light Changes
  • [62] Tom Perrotta: Little Children
  • September 13, 2006

     

    New Perspective on Cruising

    Neither do I cruise at bar nor go clubbing. Not only am I claustrophobic in crowd but I am also overwhelmed being around sweaty able men bodies! Loud music frays my nerve. But I've always wondered what exactly people are looking for cruising at bars. A story from Andrew Holleran's In September, the Light Changes, which I'm reading for the book club, reveals psychological light into the mind of some (but not all) cruisers. It says people are not looking for a "nice guy" when they go out, but someone a little complicated, a little dangerous, a little depressed, even nasty--someone who is neurotic! It sounds demoralizing but that is how the game is played. Relationship and dating seem to be the same way: You should never sit around waiting for someone to call, never pursue a person--if he wants you, he will let you know. Never assume that beauty has any relation to character traits (I've learned the hard way). What this has taught me is not to take rejection too seriously, and always be prepared to expect that blow.

    The reason some of my friends and most people go to the bar is so that they can find someone and never have to go to the bar again. The only problem (and that is a big one)is why they can't find the person. The reasonable way to approach this is to want only whoever finds you appealing. If we were attracted only to people who find us attractive, then everything would make sense. The trouble is, most of the time A wants B, B desires C, C has a crush on D, and so on. We have to admit this is a tough business. I realize the way to go is to meet people in a setting that is most comnfortable to me--where I can meet people who share common interests, and be friends, and see what will develop. At least it will save money buying alcohol right?

    1 Comments:

    Blogger Robert said...

    I'm the same way as you are Matt, and prolly a lot of people out there, as well. I don't friggin' smoke or drink, I dislike crowds and often times, most bars don't play the music that I like. So I would ask myself: What the hell am I doing here!?!

    I would just meet up with my friends there and look around maybe and try to have a good time, back in the old days. I can count the times that I've actually made eye contact, which was very, very few.

    You hit it on the spot. One has to be comfortable with himself and his surroundings, cuz if not, he's just making it harder for himself. Methinks.

    9/13/2006 11:37 AM  

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