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A Guy's Moleskine Notebook

Thoughts and reflections on works of fiction and literature. Pondering of life through pictures and words. Babbling about gay rights. Travelogues and anecdotes.

  • [1] Annie Proulx: Brokeback Mountain
  • [2] Arthur Golden: Memoirs of a Geisha
  • [3] Yu Hua: To Live
  • [4] Alan Hollinghurst: The Line of Beauty
  • [5] Colm Toibin: The Master
  • [6] Carlos Ruiz Zafon: The Shadow of the Wind
  • [7] William James: The Varieties of Religious Experience
  • [8] Charles Higham: The Civilization of Angkor
  • [9] Graham Greene: A Burnt-Out Case
  • [10] Dai Sijie: Mr. Muo's Travelling Couch
  • [11] Alan Hollinghurst: The Swimming-Pool Library
  • [12] Mikhail Bulgakov: The Master and Margarita
  • [13] Colm Toibin: The Blackwater Lightship
  • [14] Alan Hollinghurst: The Folding Star
  • [15] Ross King: Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling
  • [16] Fyodor Dostoevsky: The Brothers Karamazov
  • [17] Jonathan Franzen: The Corrections
  • [18] Colm Toibin: The Story of the Night
  • [19] John Banville: Shroud
  • [20] Leo Tolstoy: Resurrection
  • [21] Peter Hessler: River Town, Two Years on the Yangtze
  • [22] Ian McEwan: The Atonement
  • [24] Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Love in the Time of Cholera
  • [25] Ignacio Padilla: Shadow without a Name
  • [26] Umberto Eco: The Name of the Rose
  • [27] Richard Russo: Straight Man
  • [28] Fyodor Dostoevsky: Notes from Underground
  • [29] Alan Hollinghurst: The Spell
  • [30] Hermann Broch: The Death of Virgil
  • [31] James Baldwin: Giovanni's Room
  • [32] Ken Kesey: One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
  • [33] Xingjian Gao: One Man's Bible
  • [34] C. Jay Cox: Latter Days
  • [35] Harper Lee: To Kill A Mockingbird
  • [36] William Shakespeare: The Taming of the Shrew
  • [37] Daniel A. Helminiak: What The Bible Really Says about Homosexuality
  • [38] James Baldwin: Tell Me How Long the Train's Been Gone
  • [39] Kenji Yoshino: Covering - The Hidden Assault of Civil Rights
  • [40] Italo Calvino: If, On a Winter's Night A Traveler
  • [41] Arthur Phillips: The Egyptologist
  • [42] George Orwell: 1984
  • [43] Michael Warner: The Trouble with Normal: Sex, Politics, and Ethics of Queer Life
  • [44] Andrew Sullivan: Virtually Normal
  • [45] Henry James: The Wings of the Dove
  • [46] Jose Saramago: Blindness
  • [47] Umberto Eco: The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana
  • [48] Dan Brown: Da Vinci Code
  • [49] Kazuo Ishiguro: Never Let Me Go
  • [50] Ken Follett: The Pillars of Earth
  • [51] Leo Tolstoy: War and Peace
  • [52] Michael Thomas Ford: Alec Baldwin Doesn't Like Me
  • [53] Jonathan Franzen: How To Be Alone
  • [54] Jonathan Lethem: The Fortress of Solitude
  • [55] Matthew Pearl: The Dante Club
  • [56] Zadie Smith: White Teeth
  • [57] Fyodor Dostoevsky: The Double
  • [58] Jose Saramago: The Double
  • [59] Andrew Holleran: Dancer from the Dance
  • [60] Heinrich von Kleist: The Marquise of O & Other Stories
  • [61] Andrew Holleran: In September, the Light Changes
  • [62] Tom Perrotta: Little Children
  • May 01, 2006

     

    Bluesky Holiday

    Sunny, warm, 72 degrees. Yesterday was the most pleasant to-date this year in San Francisco. The summer crowd that is overdue returns to Ocean Beach, which comes back to life after a prolonged, dreadful winter of rain. It was a scene of a bluesky holiday: the chirping of birds, screaming of kids with muddied feet, wandering of roller-bladers in skimpy muscle shirts, sauntering of clueless-looking tourists. After a sweaty morning workout, my partner in crime Tony and I headed down to the coast to have lunch at the New Bistro at the Cliff House. We ordered a Louis crab salad and broiled mahi-mahi sandwich with mixed greens. The conversation nudges to the direction of my heart condition after the unfulfilled love drama. I complacently tell him that I've got over it. The issue is not about negotiating the difference between two people but letting go. Changing someone or making him assimilate to what I look for in a partner is the last thing I want in a relationship. Assimilation destroys that part of a person that strives for self-expression and constitutes true self. If the solitary, hermit lifestyle that he relishes so much and makes him happy, it would be utterly selfish of me to make him change for me. Tony ponderously, with a tinge of pride of his friend, looks at me while his finger gently brushes his moustache. We look out the floor window to a blue sea of glittering diamonds and trace the seemingly unreachable horizon where the sky meets the ocean. I tell him how blue the sky is and how beautiful the weather is. With the sense of pride and gratitude like that in a survivor of some unforeseen disaster, I tell Tony that I need a bluesky holiday, like the sunshine and blue sky we finally enjoy after the storm has passed away, from relationship and drama.

    4 Comments:

    Blogger matty said...

    Hey! I was there!!!! You should have said "hello" ...how very rude! LOL!

    It was a perfect day!

    As hard as it is and as much as it sucks, our hearts have a way of healing. somehow, they do. ...heal.

    5/01/2006 6:01 PM  
    Blogger Matt said...

    I know...I just posted a comment on your blog, Where were you? We parked at the entrance #7.

    5/01/2006 8:49 PM  
    Blogger matty said...

    I must not always be notified of posts to my blog. Sometimes I will find a comment from weeks earlier of which I was unaware.

    Well, I was never inside Cliffs --- am on a budget this month! But, I was roaming about the ruins and on the beach below.

    I was the one in the glitter speedo, feather boa and rainbow flag.

    5/02/2006 9:48 AM  
    Blogger matty said...

    ...Oh, my cafe is Sweet Inspirations on Market Street. You can find me there a lot! LOL! I like that cookie that they dip in chocolate and no one minds me sitting there for as long as I like. I got into the habit of hanging there when I was job searching. I would do the whole Craigslist/Monsterboard thing from there instead of home. Sometimes they give me free Diet Coke. 'bless 'em!

    5/02/2006 9:52 AM  

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